Girl Have You Checked In With Yourself: 3 Self-Awareness Questions to Ask Yourself
- Tura B.
- Feb 22
- 7 min read
Updated: Mar 5
Simple self-awareness discovery questions that will guide you toward your best self! This incredible guidance is here to assist you in implementing daily behaviors that will lead you to your desired outcomes. Let's dive in and discover where you are now, and the amazing steps you can take to reach your goals!
" Knowing who you are is vastly more important than knowing where you are going or even what you can do." - Lisa Bevere, Without Rival
Such a cliche term, self-awareness! I get it, and with all of life's moving parts, it’s enough to maintain the day-to-day without being overwhelmed and tapped out. Then to be asked to be all in your feels occupying more of your time and energy leads to never-ending thoughts that you have no idea of how to process and where to place them.. Been there and doing that! But what if I told you the more self-assured and informed you are about who you are now, the better tomorrow will be? This takes some real honesty and a hard look in the mirror. When I identified with who I truly am, I felt like I needed to be admitted, but it was the moment that changed my life, forever. I was mentally throwing up every negative comment I ever said to myself, every moment of insignificance, and all the times I felt misunderstood. So trust me, It wasn't easy, but I was determined. There is no one-size-fits-all remedy, but once I truly discovered who I am, MY Life was worth living on my terms. I've learned that frequently I ask these questions to be real with myself and check in before things get out of whack or I set myself back altogether. Randomness had me in the chokehold and checking for others' opinions had me in a bigger chokehold(All Facts, lol). This is ongoing love, as is life, so don't give up. You are well worth the fight.
I’ve concluded, my daily experiences in life are worth my full engagement and commitment. I dedicate each day to who I am and what I want out of life. I want that for you too, and if you have read this far I will assume you want it as well. So let's get to it and see where you are so you will know how to begin your journey truly.
How Do I Feel in This Moment?
A survey found that social media use may be contributing to the decline in confidence. Girls who use social media for 10 hours a day are 25 percentage points less likely to describe themselves as confident.
So you love a good distraction? Aimless thoughts, random scrolls, or just staring off into space with thoughts and feelings you can't quite pinpoint. It could be that the closest people to you feel the furthest away. Do you daydream a lot to escape? (I still do this, but I call them visions now). Feelings and how you process them through your emotional responses, motivation to engage, and behaviors are true indicators of where you are currently. Past experiences have a heavy bearing on this and can create knee-jerk reactions at the moment that can cause you to think that it’s just who you are and will always be. This is far from the truth, and just a trigger response to what you currently know thus far in life. You only know what you know, right? The good news is, that what you know now, is not all you will ever know. What is a journey without general direction? Lost is the first word I think of, so I must be clear to you when I say, “Your feelings are not rare but normal!” The first step is to acknowledge how you feel and identify your environment. Check your surroundings! What you are depositing into the world through your words, action, and energy develops and creates your reality. Are you participating in conversations with people where you shrink or feel like “ this isn’t my thing for real”? Then look, it's not your vibe. Take notes because acknowledging and accepting these details will save you time, energy, and for some, your future! Why waste time trying to be like somebody else? You are 1 of 1, we need you boo! Don’t be convinced that you will do it later or I have time. Scenarios become harder to walk away from, Trust me! Oh, and the infamous waiting until things are a certain way before you begin ANYTHING is a false narrative and this is fear doing its best work. Something will always be out of order.
Daily Behaviors to Help:
Spill your tea in a journal. Your source could be a TRUSTED person, in this case, I recommend a journal and the person. Writing things down gives reference to look back and see how far you’ve come. I recommend this in the morning and at night. After you tell your journal all your feelings, write something you are grateful for. This step is important because it tells your subconscious thank you. Don’t you go harder when there is a reward or appreciation? If this seems too difficult, remember you are breathing so there’s hope!!
Do something for you. Discover what puts you at ease, calms you, and most importantly makes you happy. This can range from prayer and meditation, a walk with a homegirl, good music, or my fav a nap! Your happiness and contentment, your decision. Don’t allow others to tell you what should or shouldn’t be for your joy to fit in (unless it harms you). This is meant to be a selfish act, to increase your capacity for the mandatory things in daily life. A word of advice here, DO NOT FEEL GUILTY. If your mind wanders to the things you have to do in life refer back to no. 1.
Professional Help. Some situations are more extreme and deeply rooted than the "norm" and everyday challenges. I advise you to speak to a professional neutral party that is trained to assist with more intense situations. Don't be ashamed, it's a brave act to reach out and be vulnerable. This is self love.
How Do I Speak to Myself Privately?
You better hype your bestie up! Are you your biggest cheerleader over anyone that exists on this earth? Now someone may be competing for your spot as your best hype woman, but you absolutely should be winning this race. You have to be with yourself every moment in life, so let’s take a tally of what you are saying to yourself. If your words are anything short of encouraging, motivational, and affirming, then invest more time in question #1. I understand you don’t jump out of bed every day with the same enthusiasm, and that’s to be expected, but there is cause for concern when you are beating yourself down with negative talk, or shrinking through the demon of comparison. The effort put into recurring negative thoughts, that same effort can create positive ones when self-destructive thoughts bubble up. Consistent practice at "catching" the negative thought shortens their life span. What do you whisper in thought? Do you get defensive and distant when new girls enter a room or are you the ‘hey girl hey” type? Let’s go ahead and make sure that you are a girl who not only projects that she believes in herself but affirms it in private as well.
Daily Behaviors to Help:
Nip it. Now I know we can’t control all of our thoughts, but acknowledge the diminishing self-talk, check your surroundings, and immediately replace the thought. The replacement can be a desire or ANYTHING positive.
Ex. Negative thought: ” There is no way I will be able to….(fill in the blank)”
Replacement: “ Girl chill, maybe we don't know how today, but let's see what resources are available”
This acknowledges your feelings of being unsure, nervous, and other non-supported emotions and thoughts toward your goals. The key is the follow-up and follow-through with action. One Step at a time!
Challenge Yourself. Remember this: "The development of a new skill, setting personal milestones, and measurable growth are tangible ways to build confidence and personal momentum. Having a checklist is like mental cheerleading and can change your thought patterns, belief systems, and ultimately your actions."
Celebrate Yourself. It is so easy to be critical and judgmental of ourselves in thought which leads to being unproductive, and not engaged in life. Take a moment when your thinking is not aligned with who you are becoming and list some accomplishments, scribble some gratitude, and just simply hype yourself. Not one lie will be told. Be your own hype woman.
“We have so much coming in as sisters, when is our interior life ever put at the forefront? We constantly want to give to other people ... Too much of not caring for yourself is not a good thing. We’re bad at that as achievers. Self-care is a priority and we have to do it more.”- Ava DuVernay
What Am I Focused On?
Seriously, are you worried about them, or yourself? What actions fill up your daily routine? If you are finding yourself engrossed with attacking a task list to achieve your goals, being active in the things and people you love, or simply minding your own business, then those are goals Sis. ( Just my opinion since it’s my post, lol). Be cognizant of what is creating your belief systems and scrolling for identity isn't the way to go. I know that thinking about what you want, what your people want from you can be daunting and just tew much! Move at your pace and not what family thinks, social media thinks, or even YOU when you critiquing yourself. At this point in the post, you have given room to assess how you feel and what you think, so you know at a high level where you stand within yourself. Why not focus on what you want for YOU!
Daily Behaviors to Help:
Go Big. Write it out, All of it, every single thing you can think of. Scribble your biggest dreams and then write something bigger you want to attain. Stretch your thinking and believing. Organize it, and then execute it step by step. Everything you want out of life is attainable.
Make it bite-size. Break down your goals into attainable steps and tasks. This will prevent you from setting yourself up for failure and causing a setback, but rather create reinforcement and momentum for what you want.
Unique over Blended. Simply, Be yourself and don’t rob us of the REAL you!
Before I Shimmy Out of Here…
These aren't just words to click and put together on a computer. Growing up as a teenage mom, an aimless young adult, I had to find a method that worked for me. The key is to apply it and keep it real with yourself, otherwise, it’s just a waste of time. Active self-awareness isn't impossible, it's commitment. Consistent action, positive self-talk, and WORK. Tilled Soil is all about working through adversity and obstacles to become a flower, make sure you are working in your garden. We would love to know if this helps! Share, Like, and Comment! Later Boo!
Don't forget to grab a guided journal to help you along your way!
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